Hey you guys.

This is my idea for all three of us to keep in touch for now. It's less conspicuous looking than Facebook and Skype. So I thought it would be a good idea. This way Ashlee can avoid prying eyes, we can put together our train ticket plans, and we all have a place to talk.

The gang's all here.

You're a dork Kohi. Lol.

There's been a couple road blocks in the operation here. So this Thursday may not be the day. Jin can explain it to you better than I can. But we are getting everything in order. Don't be hasty with the packing. It might give you away. Just sit tight. We're getting everything worked out. I promise.

I love you too Kohi. And I miss you tons. I'm just ready for you to be out of there and in a place where you can be both completely safe and completely happy without sacrificing one for the other. I get a little over excited when it comes to helping people. Lol. I absorb emotions like a sponge and seeing someone who's close to me not being completely happy hurts. Plus I have a tendency to plan things out too much. And it's nice to have Jin helping me stay in perspective here because I have a tendency to jump the gun before all my ducks are in a row.

I think waiting a little longer will help. Cause I got $170 in my account right now and probably another $150 or more coming in my next check on the 10th, which was the original plan anyway. I'll save from each check. So I should have plenty for a round trip ticket. Are there round trip ticket options? One of you guys might have to help me with the Amtrak website and find that option cause I'm not seeing it. Lol. If there's not, I can always wire you money for the trip back. Or just buy it on the site. I don't think it matters where you buy from, as long as it has your name on it. You won't be stranded I promise. Plus I need to make sure I have a ride and a place for us to stay the night. Sam seems like he's got my back so I'm sure he'll do it.

I'm glad you have your routine down Kohi. I thought you were staying with one aunt the whole time. I didn't know it was multiple aunts. Lol. I'm glad we have this little forum so we can all stay in touch. I think it will help with this whole thing a lot. And it's just nice to have our own little private place to talk. Lol. You know you can customize the colors and everything? I'll leave that up to one of you guys since you're both admins now.

I kind of had a feeling that there were more people than your dad that had broken away from the family because of religious differences. I've seen it before. My friend TJ grew up a Jehovah's Witness and I met him when he was 10, shortly after his parents' divorce. And he told me even back then that it's a very isolationist religion and caused a lot of tension. I see no problem with having faith in God in any way that you see fit, but that level of elitism and exclusion of others is just not healthy for anyone's life.

I thought the whole NO SKYPE rule was ridiculous. I really don't see what harm it was doing either. I know they probably do this to everyone and not just me, Jin and Lizzie but it's hard for me to not take it personally. All three of us, with your ambition to get to a better place in life, have been here and helped you. All of us have loved you. All of us have given you someone to confide in and relate to when you were surrounded by predators. We are not "bad associations". The other two were there when you had to go through everything with Kevin and Ron and I was there when you were at JB's putting up with that shit. I'd say we're pretty good associations. And I even tried to reach out and learn about their religion cause I knew it was gonna be a part of your life and therefore part of my life and they do this. And they don't at all seem like bad people. They just sound brainwashed. They'd see that the world is full of light outside JUST their belief system if they'd open their eyes. Ugh. Now I'm ranting.

At least it's not sociopaths though. There's that to be thankful for. Creepy bastards. Lol.

Yes, Balor is my new name. Finn Balor is a wrestler who just wrestles as himself until someone gets him REALLY mad and then he paints himself up and calls himself "Demon Balor" because wrestling is a very silly thing. Lol.

I am proud of you too for your guitar progress Kohi. You're getting so great at it. We should do your band idea when we can see each other again. I still want to help you with your stage show/concert idea. That could be like our long term creative project. We could make the stage sets and everything a little bit at a time.

I'm happy you have things to keep your mind occupied. Cause trust me, sitting and stressing with no outlet is the worst thing you can do. You should get seeds of your favorite flower, plant them in a pot and tend to it during the fall so you have something beautiful to take care of all year round. Are you still watching Vampire Diaries and Sons of Anarchy on Netflix too? I'm only a few episodes from finishing Sons of Anarchy and it's been AMAZING. One of the best shows I've ever seen. You'll fall in love with it when it really gets going. And how has your vinyl job been going? Have you sold any yet? Sorry for question overload jamming your systems. Lol. :p

I love you lots and Jin does too. We're gonna keep working on this. Keep your head up. We'll keep our heads up for you. You mean the world to us both. We're all being given a chance to grow from a tough situation. And that is truly a blessing. You just got to cherish the little blessings in life along with the big ones. You are a blessing to me. And I'll always be here when you need me. Both of us will.

Hey guys. I talked to Lizzie about our plan and she misses Kohi and she wants to help too. So I gave her the link to the forum. It will just be us four and no one else.

I've been sitting here for about an hour after talking to you and just thinking about what to say. Cause I just needed to analyze it.

I don't really know what word to use but I guess upset could be one. But not really as in mad that you changed your mind. More like just sad cause this means it'll be even longer than I thought. Maybe it's kind of selfish of me, but I just miss you a lot. It hurts. It hurts to have no idea when I'll see you again. To have no idea when we'll be able to laugh together and explore nature and talk for hours.. I can't even see your face on Skype and that kills me. And I take the way your family are looking down on the three of us VERY fucking personally. And I know I'm not the only one. We're good people and we love you. Just because we don't follow their religion is no proof otherwise. And that makes me extremely angry. Cause this wouldn't even be a problem if it weren't for their judgmental attitude towards people. This whole thing has just made me even more distrustful and deepened my grudge against organized religion.

I am proud of you though for doing what you feel is best for you. I think it would be amazing for you to get on housing and finally have a place of your own without relying on anyone else for a home. I have faith in you to make your own way in life Ashlee. But just remember that we are here for you too. It's not just them. If you ever need anywhere to go, we're here.

If you feel comfortable staying there, I will understand and support you as best as I can. I'll try to be patient and swallow how much I miss you and swallow my rage at them for calling us bad influences.

You do what you need to do and I will too. I'm still going to get out of here and look for a place, whether we do this plan or not. I hate it here and I want out. Before my sanity slips away. And I want you and all my other friends to be able to rely on me because they can trust me to do that. Not cause they have to.

You're one of my best friends Ashlee. I love you. Never forget who you are. Cause I won't. Life will bring us back together when fate sees fit. This forum will have to do for now, even if it does no justice like seeing you in person does.

HIIIIII. its Lizzie officially, joined. now the WHOLE gang is here.
Don't have much to say soooooo ima, just leave it at this ha. thought id let you know, ashlee that I am here.

Ashlee remember this or what?!

I wish I could grow an epic beard like Hugo but my follicles refuse to cooperate lol.

And okay. We'll keep calling you Kohi or Kohanna. Feel free to call me either Balor or Mugen. Cause there can't be a Jin with no Mugen lol. Jin, I just now got the wordplay on your screen name. I'm a little slow on the uptake.

I hoped you would understand cause I am a still pretty upset about the whole situation. Not at you but at people judging me as if they know me. But I'm trying to have patience. It's not something I have ever had much of so this is part of my path to growing up. But it's part of your path to the same thing too so I have to respect that.

I'm signing up for a temp agency soon. Everyone is telling me I need to learn to drive first before moving out, but I'm hesitant because that means having to rely on my mom for yet another thing. I wish Aaron would just move here already to teach me. Anyone but her. She always has an excuse as to why she can't do it. I'll take the damn bus everywhere if I have to. I'm so sick of her trying to discourage me from doing what I have to do to get out of here. She has started making me pay my own $57 cell phone bill every month. Which effectively robs me of half my money every month. And it's not that I hate the responsibility. It's that she has payed my phone bill since I got my first cell phone. And now so conveniently, as soon as I start saving to get out, I have to pay it. Despite the fact that she just got a raise at work. I even talked to Fred about all this and he thought it was bullshit. He said she is overbearing and needs to let go and let me grow up. She keeps talking about "I'll get you a car when I get my taxes back." But I'm not waiting for her. My goal is to be out by the end of this year. I'm done letting her control my life.

Anyway, I'm excited to hear your song. I love your music. I try to see your facebook pictures but I have to log into Mugen to do it cause your aunt Pam has me blocked on my regular one. We seriously keep JUST missing each other. The fair yesterday and I almost went to powwow with Tessa. But I guess maybe that's happening for some sort of reason. Cause I don't know how your family would react to us seeing each other.

I miss you Kohi.

P.S. I'm making a song sharing thread. We have this whole big forum and only one topic. Lol.

Why would you hate that picture of yourself, its fucking awesome just saying! that night was SO MUCH FUN. I miss it. Hugo, was hilarious haha

Kohi, sounds like a deal lol. You can call me whatever the fuck you want haha because I really don't care lol. I had my last day at work sat night and it was so much harder than I thought I cried to the residents it was bond to happen though.. I don't know if I made the wrong choice or not.. But on the bright side I will be getting paid more at my new job which I start the 5th. so I get this little mini vacation!

Kohi. I thought a lot about this whole situation and you saying you need to stay there last night. And I feel I need to open up completely about this situation and my feelings on it.

I honestly wish there was a better place for you than JB's that you could stay before Jin's. I wish you could just stay here at my house. But I wish you were nowhere near where you are right now. Maybe those people there are willing to help you right now Kohi, but they DON'T LOVE YOU. They love the idea of what they want to mold you into. They don't love you as you are. If they loved you, they would respect your rights to talk to your friends. If they loved you, they would let you be yourself. They would accept you for every horrible little detail like me and Lizzie and Jin do. Cause if they truly loved you, they would be able to see under your mistakes and under your problems to see the light shining in you. If they truly loved you, it would be clear as day to them.

You have to hide who you are to keep a home. You have to hide YOUR FRIENDS to keep a home. And a place where you have to do that is not a home. You have other places where you can actually be yourself. JB is a dickhead sociopath, but he's willing to take you in for a while. Jin is willing to take you in. I am willing to take you in once I get a place. I even talked to my mom the other day and she said she was willing to mend fences and let you come back over to spend the night if things work out okay. Those people you're living with want you to change yourself cause they don't accept the real you. They want to control your life. They want you to live up to their standard to be "worthy" of them. When in reality they don't know what worthiness is. They want to try to brainwash and contain you to live their narrow path. There are so many paths to God. Not just theirs. Sin is not a "bad deed". The definition of sin is separation from God. And you have no separation from God. He talks to you more than he talks to anyone else I know.

Maybe the Jehovah's Witness way has some good things about it, but it has its faults too. Just like every branch of every religion has its faults. There is no one path to God. There are many. And those people in that church and in your family are just as flawed as the rest of us, albeit in different ways. But they should be banding together to help those in need. Not casting them out as "bad associations". You can grow up without them. They are making themselves your lifeline and feeding tube to a better life because that's another way of creating dependence and control. Other people will help you, Kohi. When I get things on track, I will do everything I can to help you get things on track. I'll take you to talk to someone about getting on disability. I'll find some way to set you up with some income. I'll even find a way to get your son rides to come see you. I'll help get you on the path to true independence. All that without expecting your adherence to rules and you to sacrifice who you are. Just because I care about you.

I want you to please consider these words and think about your next steps. Cause I still haven't told JB you're not coming on Monday just in case you change your mind between now and then. Like I said, he's an ass. It's not perfect there. It has it's drawbacks and faults. But it's a place to stay where you can be yourself a lot more than you can where you are right now. And it'll only be a little while before you can go see Jin again. I'm afraid if you don't go on monday, JB will entirely take the offer off the table, permanently. Cause I know his type well enough to know that he could very possibly do that.

I get that you are hesitant to leave. You have a shelter there for now and you are trying to get settled down. And I know you're sick of the constant moving. I understand. You need a consistent place to rest your head and call a home. But that place you're in is not that place at all. Cause they are holding kicking you out over your head for even TALKING to us. And I know you. The pressure is building in you right now. I could tell that just by how depressed you were yesterday. And you have no release valve cause they won't even let you talk to the three of us when you need to. That's not a safe place Kohi. You can only hold back who you are for so long before you say "THAT'S IT!" and they kick you out anyway. Cause when they see the real you, they won't like it. And they won't accept the real you.

So please, think it over. Please consider going through with the plan of getting out and going to JB's on Monday. It will only be for a little while. I know Jin is still working on getting you there to Montana. And I promise I will get you there. Things will work out okay. But my heart and my gut both tell me that it will only end in disaster if you stay where you are now. I promise you that I will get you to Jin and we will both make sure you have a place where you can be both stress free, but where you can also be yourself and do what you want without the fear of judgment.

Whatever path you choose, I will stick by you and support you no matter what. Even if I feel you have made a mistake, it's your decision to make and I'll be there to pick you up and dust you off if you trip and fall. And I'm not too prideful to admit, there's always a possibility that I'm the one who is wrong about this. These are all just my beliefs on this situation and I stand by them. If you feel that you know what you are doing by staying there, I will respect and trust that decision. But I am confident that this plan to get you out of there will work and you will be happier for it. So please consider it. I miss your laugh and your smile so much. And that's all I want is your happiness no matter what. We're right here in your corner Kohi. I love you very much. We all do. We may not be your blood family, but we love you like our family. And you have a home with us. We'll always make sure of that.

I officially don't know what to do anymore. Jin, I'm leaving this with the decision of your mother. If she says yes, I'll come, if she says no, I'm going to stay.

I'm sorry i'm too depressed to elaborate any farther